You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
I was officially considered the drunkest person in cuba when the bartender at the swim up bar made me wear a life jacket for 'safety purposes'
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
Randomize
