And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
When you called me I said did you make it home. You said yeah. Then you said you didn't know where you were. I said you were at home and you said but where. I said you are in the bathroom. Then you said oh, you're so smart lol
Randomize
