Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
Randomize
