Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
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