He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
I'm too hungover for some lady to talk to me about potatoes
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
Welcome to drunk texts. Live from Margaritaville, it's Saturday night!!!
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
Randomize
