Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
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