VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
yeah i'm making him "thanks for letting me befriend your toilet" cookies. wanna help? i'm sure you'll be making new friends too.
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
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