so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
two words...techno handjob
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
What part of “the stripper has a gun, we need to leave” is confusing you? She’s drunk, she’s fucking crazy and NOW SHE’S PACKING HEAT!
Randomize
