Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
I want to play lord of the rings tonight. And by that I mean get really drunk, potentially lost, and go trekking through the woods or climbing shit. I want all of you there. You are the fellowship. This is a mass text. I am insanely high.
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
Randomize
