i just google imaged poop.
you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
He wanted to watch a Charlie Brown thanksgiving. But I was like, fuck that, I'm a grown up. So we watched jumanji and I sucked his dick.
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
Randomize
