I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
Randomize
