I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
Randomize
