Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
Randomize
