he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
Randomize
