and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
Just talked a homeless guy out of suicide. Was rewarded with a garbage bag full of mountain dew bottles and zannies. Im such a good person
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
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