She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
Randomize
