Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
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