its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
Accomplishment of the day: changing my tampon at 38,000 ft with turbulence. Fasten seatbelt sign was definitely on.
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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