This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
you didnt know i had herpes?
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
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