He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
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Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
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