i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
Hey man, when I left for work she was laying on the couch naked cuddling your keurig, can you clean that mess up?
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
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