remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
Randomize
