Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
Randomize