Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
I just farted so loud that my cat got so scared he fell off the couch.
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize
