Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
Best elective surgery ever. Having a great time ignoring girls' pleas to pull out and blowing it inside anyway. I like to watch them absolutely freak out and go batshit crazy for 20 mins before I mention the snip-snip surgery. Power trip.
My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day.
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
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