First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
Randomize
