Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
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