I'll bet she douches with gravy.
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
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