next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
Having sex with my girlfriend wearing my old Tom Brady jersey on the day he's freed is the closest I'll come to a 3way with Tom
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
Randomize
