Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
Emergency! LinkedIn connected me to a hotornot hookup from sophomore year... slutty phase sphere has officially invaded grown up professional sphere. My illusions of interweb sexual anonymity have been exploded.
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
Randomize
