We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
Chick stood right next to me in the elevator. Like she had the whole elevator and she stood right next to me. So I farted.
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
Randomize
