I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
A woman with Alzheimer's pointed at me and said, "Don't forget to wear socks, because you're a lady!" I think it's legit advice.
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Randomize
