I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
Come share oat with me in your robe
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
I prefer to think of hangovers as extreme sobriety, which can only be cured by more booze
Randomize
