every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
Randomize
