have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
Keeping my bail papers as a souvenir from when I was arrested. Too weird?
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
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