they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
Randomize
