what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
Randomize
