we're blogging at a bar
Omfg I am plowed. Had drinks with 3 milfs. Going out on their boat tomorrow. They want to show me how buoyant they are.
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
God doesn't care if you're a paramedic, you can't do that to someones cat and still get into heaven
Randomize
