It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
Heybabeimwearingurpanties
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
This whole having a new phone thing is like starting all over in life with a clean slate! (My old text convos are gone)
New phone new life!
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
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