idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
My mom just called and reminded me not to throw up in any cabs tonight. Happy St. Patty's Day.
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
Dave called me blind fucking drunk thinking he was going to die from drinking with drake bell(wtf?) saying "it's all that drake motherfucker's fault" and later proceeded to tell me "you are my twitter"
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
Randomize
