I just had a girl text me from knoxville "come see me. we'll go for drinks and I can make you breakfast"
how do you like your eggs?
over tits
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
Randomize
