dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
I woke up to a bunch of college seniors jacking off a horse in my face. Geuss who didnt move in time?
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying.
You did a keg stand on the toilet?!
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
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