at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
The owner of this phone is no longer accepting texts from liars, assholes or married men. You figure out which one applies.
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
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