i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
she looked like the before picture.
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
Randomize
