How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
where am i from again
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
