Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
I party with great urgency now.
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
Randomize
