at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
You’re a genius! I just walked in, shut the door, blew him and left. He could barely move afterwards and was a hot mess at the presentation. He already sent me a calendar invite for another meeting
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
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