just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
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