You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
I just wanted to check in on you and you replied with a selfie with your Coney Island waiter and the caption "after his shift we're dropping acid together"
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
Randomize
