Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
Also, my phone autocorrects ENABLER to all caps. I think I drunk text the word too often.
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
I can't put those talents on a resume
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
Randomize
