dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
Hit a parked car with a "property of Jesus Christ" bumper sticker. Wrote out five hail mary's and left it on the windshield.
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
Sexting gets boring after a while. I'm eating a sandwich right now and googling 'sexting ideas' and just copy/pasting lines.
It's a good sandwich though.
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
Randomize
