so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
It's never too late to be topless.
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
just had a woman ask me to donate my eggs so that her baby could look like me. don't know whether to get a restraining order or be flattered. thoughts?
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
Randomize