"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
Randomize
