I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
Dude you can't like a status about me getting hit by a car
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
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