he referred to my room as the tit cave...
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
Randomize
