I'm jealous of your bromance
Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
i just heard Winston Churchill in auto-tune. thank you nerds.
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
Randomize
