how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
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