that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
So this guy is eyeing me from across the bar. Either the girl I hit on next to him is his girlfriend or he's her gay best friend. I should show him my Penis and find out.
Dude. Do it.
Definitely her date. But she saw it too. So now he used to be her date. Why can't this stuff Happen when I'm sober?
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
A girl told me I was her "alcohol spirit animal" tonight. Somehow I think my whole life was secretly building up to this moment
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE A DRUNK WHEN ALL MY ENABLERS ARE BUSY?!
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
Randomize
