The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
Idk if you've ever tried hysterically crying in the shower listening to Florence + The Machine but it's honestly a life-affirming experience
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
Randomize
